MONTANA COUPLES CONNECTION RECOMMENDATIONS

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

Pat Love & Stephen Stosny, 2007. The brand new book that explains why "the relationship talk" does not help, and reveals the truth about marital happiness: It’s about connection, not communication. Learn to keep your connection strong through touch, activities, intimacy, and couple routines or rituals. http://www.amazon.com/Improve-Marriage-Without-Talking-About/dp/0767923170

For Men Only & For Women Only,

Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn, 2005 & 2006. These two "little books" about understanding your partner are the books my private clients absolutely love. They de-mystify our normal gender-based behavior, explaining the core fears and core needs of men and women. The books are based on a national survey of men and women. The questions from the survey are in the book, so you can ask your partner how they’d answer – and find out how they think and feel! http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=For+Men+Only+%26+For+Women+Only%2C+Shaunti+%26+Jeff+Feldhahn&x=14&y=15

12 Hours to a Great Marriage,

Howard Markman, Scott Stanley, Susan Blumberg (Jossey-Bass) Revised 2005.Perhaps the most comprehensive do-it-ourselves book for couples on how to stop conflicts and arguments, andstart loving again. Good on gender differences and intimacy as well -- fair to both men's and women's needs and perspectives. A good book for both of you to read, underlining what strikes you as helpful, and sharing notes.

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, & How You Can Make Yours Last.

John M. Gottman, 1997.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

John Gottman, 1999. Two new books about why marriages get into trouble and distress, even when the couple starts out "in love", and what to do about it. Men will like Gottman's straightforward, organized approach. Based on years of research with actual couples at the University of Washington's "Love Lab". Read one of these books together…it can get you talking again, and help you replace bad habits with positive practices.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=The+Seven+Principles+for+Making+Marriage+Work%2C+John+Gottman%2C+1999&x=16&y=21

Secrets of Happily Married Men. Scott Halzman (2007) & Secrets of Happily Married Women, Scott Halzma (2008) Jossey-Bass.

This pair of books combine up-to-date research with lots of stories and tips contributed directly by happily married men and women. Respectful and fair describing typical gender differences that can affect your relationship; read them as a pair to gain more loving understanding of each other, and excitement for those differences! Some examples: Ch. 1 for husbands: Make Your Marriage Your Job! Ch. 4 for wives: Talk Less! For both: Fight Better!

Love Life for Parents: How to Have Kids and a Sex Life Too

David and Claudia Arp. 1998. Zondervan (HarperCollins). One of the most straightforward and helpful books for parents of young children. Written by a couple who managed to stay connected even with three kids to raise. Humorous, delightful, and full of very practical tips. (Copies are still available cheap from independent booksellers on the Amazon website.)

The Sex-Starved Marriage: A Couple's Guide to Boosting Their Marriage Libido.Michele Weiner-Davis, 2003.

Offers candid and sensible counsel for couples with mismatched libidos. Marriage therapist Weiner-Davis skewers two stereotypes about sex in marriage. First, she jettisons the idea that husbands are hot and wives are not, giving examples of "low-desire" men in her practice. Next, she upends the longstanding model of sexual response and advises readers: "Just do it. Desire is an intention, not a feeling. Once the low-interest partner allows him/herself to be touched and aroused, this triggers a strong desire to continue being sexual."

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